Meeting Face to Face

Well, we had our first official team meeting this week. Everyone who is going on the trip was there...there's about 20 or so people. I know about half of them already, so that's comforting. And the other half seem great, of course.

There were also 3 or 4 people there who introduced themselves to us as "Senders". They aren't actually going on the trip with us, but they will be supporting us throughout our preparation for it, with logistical help, supporting us in any way they can, and also with a lot of prayer.

It was very humbling to know that these four people, whom I had never met before in my life, would be praying over me and the rest of the team. They have been to Kenya before, so they know what we're in for, what challenges we'll be facing, what kind of mental and spiritual stuff we'll be going through, etc. One of the Senders shared a verse with us that really rung in my spirit: "I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him," John 13:16. These Senders are just as important as us Goers, and I am more than in debt to them for their support.

We were all asked to fill out a survey listing what we are good at, so we can be placed accordingly while we're planning the activities for the trip...drama, music, arts/crafts, game time, etc. I always freeze up when I'm asked what I'm "good" at. It's like all the sudden I feel like I'm not good at anything; anthing at all! Something about that question just always trips me up. And I know that's part of Satan's plan, to plant doubt in our minds about our competance. I just have to keep reminding myself that it doesn't matter what I think I am or am not good at doing. God is going to give me abilities to reach the youth over there, and He will give me exactly what I need. So I checked off a few boxes, wiped the nervous sweat from my brow, and clicked "submit". Here goes nothing!

The team seems to be a really good mix of ages, experience, backgrounds, and passions so I am very interested to see how the dynamics work out.

On a different note, I need to be better about setting aside a particular and specific time to pray about this trip. I know I need to make this a priority in my prayer life, so I'm going to be setting aside time at 5:00am on each weekday to spend time talking to God about the trip. Hopefully I'll be spending more time listening, and less time talking. There are so many things to pray about for this trip, I hardly know where to start. I'm so nervous, and excited, and worried, and pumped about this opportunity all at the same time. I think I need to start my prayers by asking for an increase of faith that somehow, the money for this trip will be provided. That's been my biggest fear so far, is that I will end up not making the financial deadline, and unable to go. I need to let go of this fear, and just give it up to God. I know He is our real provider. The birds of the field don't starve, and neither will I.

Of course, this doesn't mean that I'm going to kick back and not do any work to raise money. I'm sending out support letters, will be having a jewelry show and selling some of my work to make money, and have taken a serious look at my finances and am cutting everywhere I can. I just have to keep reminding myself...God will provide...God will provide...God will provide...God will provide...God will provide...over and over.

I'm excited to have met the team, and to see the people embarking on this mission together.
I'm excited to meet my fears and doubts head on, because I know it will bring growth.
I'm excited to meet my financial goal, and know that once again, God provided.
I'm excited to meet the youth in Kenya, and invest time in them.
And I'm exicted to meet the me on the other side of this trip, who will hopefully have a more global view of love, a stronger grasp on perception, a deeper gratefulness for the context God has placed me in, and some new 'family' members.

Donations Update

Hey all-

Here's an update on how the fundraising is going.

A million thanks to those of you who have donated so far. My heart has been so touched!

Mary Is A Little Lamb...

I sponsor a little girl in Kenya named Mary Paranai through the Compassion International organization. I've written letters to her, and yesterday, I got a letter from her! I was so excited!

It's a little activity sheet that she filled out, with the help of a translator. She talks about what she wants to be when she grows up (a Provincial Commissioner), she talks about her friends, her family, how she likes to jump rope, and more.

It is so sweet to actually be able to look at these pencil lines, feel the paper, and be reminded of how real she is, and not just some distant face across the continents. She has real needs, real dreams, and real struggles.

The only difference between Mary and the children you and I encounter here in our little bubble-town of Wilmington is geography. Location, location, location. Had Mary been born here, she would have had the proper nutrition, food, health care, schooling, and endless fun that every child should have. But instead she was born in a country where nutritious meals are a luxury, schooling is a privilege reserved for few, and where children---instead of running free on playgrounds---must obtain some kind of occupation to help support their family, must constantly be on guard for their safety, and are lucky if there is a cot somewhere for them to rest at night.

America is so blessed, and yet we continue to whine on and on. Nothing is enough for us. We are a nation stoked by greed, and an attitude of entitlement. Myself included. I want the American dream. I whine about my salary. When I get up in the morning, I look at a closet full of clothes and "hate" them all. I not only have enough food to feed myself, but two dogs also. I am blessed. We are blessed. But it's not enough for us.

But all it takes is one letter from Mary, and I am snapped back into the global reality. One sheet full of pencil marks and connect-the-dots, and suddenly, everything I own seems a luxury. A blessing. Everything seems too much, too good for me when I know there is this sweet child, covered by God's grace and love, who has nothing. How can I not help her? How can we not help them all?

The Broke Asking the Broker

So for this trip, I have to come up with a good bit of money. Roughly $3,000, give or take. I surely don't have this kind of fundage laying around for a rainy day, let alone a legitimate trip somewhere. So I knew right off the bat I wouldn't be able to pay for the trip all by my onesie. But one thing the church is encouraging the team to do is to ask our friends and family for money to support us financially on the trip.

Uggggggggggggh.

Let me tell you how much I hate doing this. I have never been good at accepting money from people. I don't like to do it at all. I'd rather let a bill go unpaid than borrow from a friend or family. It's something that's always been with me. It's not a pride thing...trust me, I have no problem asking people for other things when I need them. But I think what bothers me about this is the obligation of it. If I ask someone for money, I don't want them to give it to me based on obligation. I think that is one of the sickest feelings in the world...to feel like you are being guilted into doing something. And I don't want people to do it out of obligation or guilt, I want them to do it only if they really and truly desire to do so. Those of you close to me know about my whole "...releasing myself from all obligatory feelings..." rant, so I won't repeat it here, but you catch the drift.

Also, besides the whole 'not wanting to induce guilt and obligation' reasoning, I do have another reason why this idea of "fundraising" makes my skin crawl, and here it is...

...my friends are as poor as I am! How can I ask my friends to give money to me for a voluntary expense when I know they have their own necessities to tend to...mortgage payment, groceries, children, electricity? I can't handle it.

Here is the breakdown of my circle of friends/family I could pool from, and following each of them is my excuse (lame though it may be) for why I am uncomfortable asking that group for money:

• 1/4 of my friends/family are as broke as I am, and I know they can't afford to even donate $50 to my trip (as mentioned before).
  
• Another 1/4 of my friends are already going on the same trip, and are trying to raise $3,000 for their own way. I can't possibly say to someone "Hey, Kim- you know that trip that we're both going on in December? Wanna give me $150 for it?"
  
• 1/4 of my family/friends do not support the idea of me going to Kenya and ministering to the people of that country at all, so I clearly cannot ask them to give me money for the trip.
  
• And that leaves me with 1/4 of my friends/family to tap for some money, but I STILL feel uncomfortable about that.

So, there's the breakdown. Which I was heavily dwelling on for a while. A looong while.

Then God gave me a good swift kick in the butt, and I realized that it's not up to me to pre-decide who can and cannot, will and will not help me with this trip. It is up to me to have faith that God will provide, and not to build up barriers around His work.

Sooooo, after that sunk in, I sat down to draw up my fundraising letters. Still a little apprehensive, but trusting they will reach hands of those who will support me (if not financially, then with prayer and support while we are in Kenya.)

All of that said...
If you are one of the few who received a support letter from me: Please know I don't want you to feel obligated or guilted into giving money. This is a decision I want you to consider heavily before you do or don't do anything.

If you did not receive a support letter from me, but would like to: Wow, that would be awesome. Just contact me at andybrame@yahoo.com, and I'll get you the info.

Also, if you all want to go ahead and support me on this trip by simply praying for me, that would be FANTASTIC, 'cuz I'll need it. Pray for me to have faith that God will provide. Pray that my heart and the hearts of the other team members will be prepared to show God's love to the people in Kenya. Pray for safety in travels. Pray for our health before and during the trip. And pray for the hearts of the Kenyans, that they will be open to God and his love.

Well, this is it!

As many of you know, I have been planning on going on a trip to Kenya for some time now, to work at a boy's orphanage home in Nakuru.

Well, today, it is official---I am definitely going. Barring any mishaps (my passport not going through, etc.) the team will be leaving on December 26, 2008 and will return on January 6, 2009. I dropped my money deposit off today, and it suddenly became very real.

I've created this blog so I can journal this whole mission, and keep in touch with the people who are supporting me throughout this trip. I'll try and post as often as possible, and share with you all everything that is going on in this endeavor.

So stay tuned, and we'll all be in this thing together!

- Andy